Everything

Something really deep from a friend, do read please. She’s talented.

Thoughts become things.

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“What happened?” He asked.
“Nothing.” She answered.
He knew what a girl’s nothing meant. So he asked again.
“Please tell me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She looked up at the empty sky and sighed.
Everything.” She replied.
Unfortunately, everyone knows what a girl’s nothing means but no one knows the secret behind her everything. He took her into his arms and for a second, she wanted to give up to what she felt for him but she didn’t entirely do it. She was afraid. She knew that it was too good to last.
“I don’t want you to get tired of me.” She finally said after a long uncomfortable silence.
“I won’t.” He promised. She wanted to believe him but she knew by doing that, she would just be fooling herself. He continued, “You know, you do a lot of annoying things..” he said jokingly. “I still don’t…

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Sorry Men, Women Do Not Exist For Your Edification.

Sorry Men, Women Do Not Exist For Your Edification.

Bitchin' Caustic Ruminations

There’s a lot of misogyny going around these days. Well, it has been going around for a long time now, but I thought that with the advent of a “free flowing interactive media” and a lot of “online knowledge” available free of cost, people would’ve at least tried to educate themselves. *sigh* that’s too much to hope for, apparently. Most of us, men and women, are still stuck on the whole “women were created to serve men” bullshit that has crept so deeply into our psyches that we have no qualms about being bondage free slaves to the “better and stronger” sex.

Anywho, back to the misogyny. So yeah, it comes as no surprise to me, or to anyone, that Pakistan is a not only a patriarchal, but also a misogynistic society. Most of us have lived in this society long enough to know that “fathers” rule the roost, if…

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Tackling Pakistan’s unspoken epidemic: Domestic Violence

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Things have been a little quiet around here. And there is a reason…

So, I’m afraid I have been keeping a secret from most of you. I have spent the past 3 months secretly plotting with 30 people to tackle Pakistan’s unspoken epidemic: Domestic Violence. You can see the website now that is has been launched: www.chaynpakistan.org. I was keeping a low profile about it because I wasn’t sure how it was going to be received in Pakistan. I wanted the wave of criticism to hit me after I had launched it. Thankfully, so far, I have received nothing but appreciation so I thought it’s time to let you all in on why and how I did it.

Let me give you the back story which you won’t read in any of the other articles….

I grew up in a happy home yet I knew not everyone grew up…

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Eid al-Fitr, a religio-cultural Holiday

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Eid al-Fitr, a religio-cultural holiday celebrated all around the world in the Muslim community and in Pakistan; it marks an end to the month of Ramzan. But the issues I am going to cover are far from enjoying a holiday rather something different.

First thing when I go out on the EID day is children playing in the streets. Sounds good, doesn’t it? Yeah, but there’s something a bit twisted about it. Every child is playing with a gun, from toy versions of AK-47 to handgun models, loaded with toy shells. This is what I would refer to as the gun culture. This gun culture is bound to mold the psychological make-up of a child from youth to adult.

I have always wondered why these kids wouldn’t go for playing with something else. There are cars, planes, etc.  Conclusion is, it’s a social construct, generation to generation it has succeeded, without any intervention it will remain and will continue to flourish. So much potential wasted within the youth of our country in such activities. It is the parent’s job to convince their child that the gun is not an appropriate toy, and they should play with something more constructive more positive… but parents either don’t have time to help their children grow positive or just don’t see anything wrong with it. Peer pressures from friends bring them into the gun culture, and when everyone is using… it becomes a norm accepted in society. Consequences for such actions can be seen in the distant future, with children being brainwashed into using real weapons for evil motives and having violence on the increase in Pakistan.

Another issue is what is popularly referred to be the “Eidi”. People give each other huge loads of money from hundreds to thousands of rupees. The youth is excited to get the money and hoard it, but as you know one grows up, they should start to understand that money going from one rich person to another is not changing anything for the poor and the homeless who are far from enjoying the holidays barely clutch to survive. This money that is exchanged should be given one way to the needy and the homeless to enjoy this day a bit more than they thought they could. That smile on their faces is priceless to say the least. For past Eids I have done my part of providing these people with Eidi whom I come across during the day after all we are all human and are equally deserving of happiness, comfort and love.

Eid has an amazing feeling of oneness, happiness, love and affection between people. It provides tolerance and understanding. Let’s just hope people learn to share the happiness with the needy and homeless with lesser resources then us and make this day comfortable and memorable for them. And let’s hope faulty reinforcements are worked and voiced against, removing the gun culture, and advocating peace instead of violence, I have stepped towards a better loving Pakistan, and so should every other citizen.

Warm wishes of EID to everyone alike!

Friendship Day with Lots of Friends and Memories

Friendship Day

Friendship day does not just signify a day, its a reminder that everyone is capable of inter-bonding with another regardless of any race, creed, ethnicity… to remove all the hate, and spread tolerance, love and friendship.

Life is precious, and brings you many friends along the way. I started my journey from Middle School in my city Chakwal. I still remember by first day like it was just yesterday.. because of the first person I met. It was Baddar… this kid here shared his seat with a chubby like me lol. It was the first day, he showed me around, gave me company.. I am proud to call him the first real friend I had. We bonded over time and eventually were best friend for a long period of time… couldn’t stay mad at each other. It was really, really nice. I miss those day’s with em, I am happy I have them as memories with me.

There were also others who were my friends in Middle school to High school, they were lovely friends too. Memories with them are priceless no matter what. We have had fights, parties, gatherings, many things… thank you guys for being my childhood friends. Mehdi, Tabi, Bilawal, Dawood, Shehryar, Ch Hassan, Paris, Zain, Mansoor, Zain, Tahir.

After that it was college period – college life was fun, interesting, new, something really fun. I met some really nice friends. I remember the first day, a huge class.. both boys and girls – lots of noise!

I made a deep friendship bond with a classmate Naveed, he was a great person, a great friend over the years. We had some really nice moments, and each memory is fresh in my mind like from last week. Other great friends from college were Shah Faisal, Jahanzeb, Ahsan, Waqar.

From female classmates I made great conversation, study interaction with many… the best friend I made was with Dua. We had a great time, studied together… learned from each other. Shared events and memories. Other good friends were Mahwish, Zartab, Beenish, Sehreen.

University came with new challenges and interactions. It was different because it was an long distance program, so physical social interaction is very limited but there are two very special friends that never let me feel the loss of that Mariam Kamran and Rida Zehra. They really gave me a life time I enjoyed deeply.. I thank you both for the time spent, and the time that’ll we’ll have together to come.

I also made another friend who eventually became my best friend in the university period, we recently have to split ways due to many differences we could not co-exist. I wish it hadn’t happened but it did, and I leave with good memories, and a hope for an amazing life for her to come, a happy one. Thank you Khadeeja.

I have also known Iqra Tofiq from the start, but we didn’t get to talk much before, but now we have a grown closer… I am hoping we’ll be friends for a long time and have some really nice moments.

I was also given a lovely nickname by these uni friends, which is Sherman. Haha, love the name, thank you guys.

On this journey until now, I have also met many friends from aside the institutions I have been at, Facebook has been a major source of allowing me to meet some very really interesting and lovely people.

Hera Hussain my talented, lovely boss for Chayn.
Sadaf Mujeeb is the best animal activist I have met yet. She is the founder of People For Animal Rights (PFAR). I would love to be at her level of animal activism someday soon.
Sahir Shah is another awesome friend, I am proud to have, he’s smart and loves to learn and share.
Pony Stark is one of the most influential, passionate, critic person I have come across, and I love all what he stands for, and I stand for it with him.
Ayesha Sultana met her a while ago, she has accomplished a lot, honoured to have her as a friend.
Areesha Khuwaja has a lovely taste in books, movies and TV shows.
Nabiha Meher has been one of the most strong, and different person I have met. She is indeed a one in a million, of the people I’ll meet in my lifetime.

Ah there are so many friends to name… I’ll name em all, slowly. But I want to thank each and everyone of my friends of sharing, interacting and talking to me over the time, it has been a lovely time, and looking forward to more breathtaking moments.

Media Harassment for Ratings Concerning Prostitution

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TV Media thrives on scandals, conspiracy stories, shaming, and etc. Most TV Media channels will do anything to gain ratings, and by anything, it means anything! There are certain shows that air onto TV by the Pakistani media I absolutely loath and hate. The ones that are the target of this piece are the shows where the media starts taking the role of the police and perform illegal attacks on prostitution dens to boost ratings.

Prostitution is a business; it’s also a lifestyle choice for many. But not everyone in the act is doing it for the same reasons, some are forced, some are not. The Media bullies these helpless victims in the name of moral policing. Both genders are involved in prostitution but in a patriarchal society as ours the females are held responsible. I classify prostitution happening due to four reasons.

Reason #1: Individuals interested in sex.

Sex has a certain allure to it, it provides a deep sense of pleasure. Certain individuals really like what sex feels like, and are drawn towards it. Then comes the temptation of money, if you can earn with it, then they go for it. Male and females both can be interested in sex, thus generally the female makes money, and the male gives money.

Reason #2: Sex Addicts.

Addiction is an illness for anything, drugs, alcohol, or internet, etc. Sex addiction is also a real thing, and individuals suffering from it crave for it, like any other drug. Such individuals require therapy to help them control their urges and keep them under control.  Again this can affect both the male gender and the female gender.

Reason #3: Last choice for women to earn some livelihood.

For some women prostitution provides them livelihood for them and their families, children. If one thinks about it, what have we done to open choices to them so they don’t have to end up on this last one? It must be unthinkably hard for a woman to make a decision to sell her body, but to feed and clothe her children she does.

Reason #4: Forced into prostitution by someone.

Some women are forced into prostitution, by their families, or their husbands, or other individuals. If Law was strong enough to give her justice, she would have tried to reach out, but in our society, where do poor citizens get justice from?

The media has assumed a horrendous position in the situation of harassing, bullying all these individuals on TV media. Instead of trying to help them overcome their problems that have caused them to take up prostitution, they are insulted, guilt framed, harassed just so the media can improve its ratings. They have no other agenda, if they did, they would be helping these women escape prostitution instead of teaching them moral lessons and lessons on religion. They should reach out to these women off-screen and give them choices.

They should pursue the lawmakers, the government to reduce inflation, to provide for the poor, to reduce unemployment, make job opening for women so the women have choices, to earn the legal way. So the children don’t have to starve and live on the streets, and be safe from diseases. The media should take the role of pressuring the government to bring better reforms to curb prostitution.

People are already aware of prostitution, it happens all around us at places; they are not doing any awareness outreach by parading these women on TV. It’s simple and pure harassment. The female anchors who mock these women don’t know their lives, or what they have to endure. When people are against the wall, they have to make tough choices, no one wants to starve, or see their children starve, a life is as important to everyone as to me.

Today I raise a voice against such violations of ethics, tomorrow someone else will too. I hope the chain does not stop and this ruining people’s lives for rating is put a stop too.